I’m Movin’ Out (Of the Bedroom)

Allright, today’s the day I figure out if my husband ever reads this thing.  I’ve mentioned moving out of the bedroom before, but today, I know it’s a thing I will have to do.  

Picture the woman who needs the most sleep recommended by doctors–I’m talking the full 9 hours!  If I don’t get enough sleep, I stutter, can’t finish sentences, and basically am operating on a kind of auto pilot that you don’t ever want flying YOUR plane.

My husband, on the other hand, couldn’t be more opposite.  He runs on air, adrenaline and addiction to information.  Sleep isn’t a requirement.  He’s lightning fast and requires about 3 hours of sleep per day.  My cell phone can’t even run on that kind of charge.  Remember, he’s from the Marathon Family and basically, he’s killing me.  Killing me slowly.

I watch tv to compete with his computer time.  We are in bed, I with my beloved TIVO and he with his beloved computer.  He’s working up a storm, I’m trying to figure out what happens on the next episode. Sometimes, I try to sleep in the eerie glow of the computer screen, but he types pretty fast, too, and it sounds like a million little cockroaches scampering along the wall.  Clickety, clickety, click.

Well, dear reader, there is more.  He sets his alarm every day for 6:00 to the tune of marimba island music. Every damn day, whether he has to get up or not, the music plays like we are on a beach vacation in Maui, and more often than not, I’m leaving with the kids for school and he’s snoring with the pillow over his head at 8 AM!!!!!  Still sleeping like a little baby with his blankie.

Meanwhile, when I hear the alarm, I’m AWAKE!  And now, after years of this, I AM AWAKE AT 6 AM.  And I’m AWAKE at 6 AM on Saturday and Sunday when the marimba music is still playing at the crack of dawn.  He can sleep through the alarm like Rip Van Winkle and I’m the donut guy from Dunkin Donuts.  I might as well start the laundry, when I’m up I’m up I’m up.  Happy weekend to me.

If I have to keep listening to the island music, I’m going to have to start drinking mojitos for breakfast–I’m already slurring my speech anyway!



  1. Mermaid
    Posted May 20, 2008 at 3:57 pm | Permalink

    Here I am commmenting on my own post, but I wanted to add something. I always wondered why all of those older couples slept in separate rooms, now I finally get it. Wish I didn’t!

  2. midwin
    Posted May 21, 2008 at 11:25 am | Permalink

    Ah….the marital bliss of the bedroom. I can relate my dear Mermaid. Now that my almost 2-year old sleeps through the night (usually) and we booted him from his crib in our bedroom to the lower bunk of his brother’s room — one would think I could get some sleep. Instead, my hubby and I have evolved into a bedroom timeshare. I clock in about 10:30 pm for a little light reading — let it be known that I have worked up to actually reading entire chapters again before dozing off. Hubby flops into bed any time between 1am and 5am after he wakes up from whatever couch he has fallen asleep on watching TV. I of course almost always wake up while he dozes off in less than a minute (I have timed this) drifting off into a lovely see saw snore that I now have the pleasure of trying to fall back asleep to. And of course I’m so annoyed that I’ve been woken up yet again for no good reason that I have to quell my anger as well.

    Let’s shack up baby. I have lots of great books, I’ll close the blinds completely to create cave-like conditions and I would never ever set my alarm for a moment sooner than absolutely necessary.

    How I long for a snow day.

  3. Mermaid
    Posted May 21, 2008 at 5:57 pm | Permalink

    But do you have TIVO?

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