For the Record: Why I’m Ostraconophobic Part 1

I’ve lived a long and fairly happy life as an Ostraconophobic.  Until 30 seconds ago, I didn’t even know that there was an official name for my “condition”–got to love google.  Not only is there an official name, but there are official websites, summits and programs to help people just like me.  I am not alone.

You see, as some of you may know, I do not eat seafood.  No shrimp, scallops, fish, caviar, nothing that swims in water or lurks near the water’s edge.  I do not like to swim with these said creatures either.  That means no snorkeling, deep sea diving, surfing or anything of the like.  I don’t mind watching sea life swim placidly around a beautiful aquarium and I have no problem with Sea World.

I never really saw it as abnormal.  I mean, I’ve been abnormal my whole life.  My mom is a vegatarian and my dad is a born and bred dairy farmer.  For most of my childhood I saw Betsy go away and magically arrive back at the farm wrapped in neat, parchment squares in the freezer.  Chicken and pork also routinely showed up in that fashion.  There was a meat freezer and a vegetable/fruit freezer.  Made sense to me.

Fish never showed up in that freezer.  They never showed up on my plate.  Fish did show up, however, when I was drowing in a pond at a picnic when I was 3 or 4.  I remember sitting on the bottom of the pond looking at the weeds and the little fish when my dad pulled me out.  

So, Mermaid doesn’t eat seafood.  It bums my husband out.  It bums some of my friends out.  It doesn’t bum me out and I don’t think that I’m not “fulfilling my full life potential” by not eating fish.  People don’t get it, but they seem to get arachnophobia.  The explaining is enough to make me a vegetarian, but from now on, I will just refer people to this post and save my breath.

P.S.  I do not eat venison–too many deer hanging from their legs with their underbellies slashed open in the horse barn did that one in for me.  I’m quite the Howard Nemerov Grace To Be Said At The Supermarket fan.

P.P.S. Please don’t tell my husband, he’ll be shipping me off to Ostraconophobic rehab faster than you can say tuna tartar.

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3 Comments

  1. Posted June 4, 2008 at 11:50 am | Permalink

    Oh girl you are funny! I find that having a “condition” makes life easier, focused, simplified even. I support your need to stay away from the bottom feeders.
    amy

  2. jeshikan
    Posted August 26, 2008 at 12:51 am | Permalink

    Ahaha, me too! I have the same thing and I don’t know why. As a baby I lived in places where seafood was rare of too expensive to buy. Then when I got older I moved right next to the water. I can’t eat seafood and I want to go to Japan! What’ll I do? LOL.

    I tried going vegetarian but it was too hard.
    It lasted a year for me. It wasn’t hard to not eat meat. It was hard to stay healthy because I don’t like a lot of foods.

    I went to a Chinese resturant once and thought I was picking up a chicken ball but it was some weird shrimp ball. looked like a chicken ball but with a shrimp tail poking out. I didn’t see the shrimp tail poking out until I started to sink my teeth in. I flipped out and throw it on the floor. My mother jumped!

    My uncle took me to a Japanese sushi bar because he knows I like Japanese things. Yeah, it sucked trying to explain to him my fear since he was being so nice and all.

    But hey, it’s no worse than aracniphobia. I love spiders. and my boyfriends sister is afraid of live chickens. He’s got Alektorophobia.

    lol. I share your fear! 😀 We Ostraconophobic must unite! lol.

    -Jess
    matsumotohideto@hotmail.com

  3. Mermaid
    Posted September 2, 2008 at 11:20 am | Permalink

    Jess,
    You can do it, go to Japan! I lived through it and you can, too. I also backpacked through China with pen and paper and a little picture of a dog in a circle with lines through it worked like a charm, I think. They always say, tastes like chicken, right???

    The fish in China was obvious, scary seafood dug up from the bottom of the sea with claws and fins and all that stuff. There’s always ramen noodles and peanut butter!

    Maybe we need a support group???


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  1. Yammie!

    Very yammie! 🙂

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