Funny Things Kids Say: Vampires, Halloween Stores and the Birds and the Bees

We visited our local Halloween speciality store.  These are the stores that spring up like zombies rising from the grave every October.  They are always in a different location and always chock full of Halloween items you simply must have.

6 year old K3 and I toured the store, stopping at every single display that had buttons to press.  We jumped up and down and passed back and forth at each motion activated gruesome slice of evil.  We shrieked at hanging ghouls that shrieked back at us.  We cringed at bloody chain saw deviants slicing sneering Hannibal Lecters.

A fellow parent was musing at her daughter’s bizarre attraction to a crawling, pale, disfigured citizen of the undead.  I mused right beside her about storage space for all of this Halloween paraphernalia.  It sure must be the sign of the apocalypse that we have all of this disposable income to create Nightmare on Elm Street in our front yards.

On the way out of the store, which I was seriously considering as fodder for nightmares later that evening, my daughter asked me a question:

“Mom, what is is like to kiss…”  She paused mid thought.

My mind immediately raced to how I would answer birds and bees questions about kissing.  I never thought about how to describe kissing to my six year old daughter…

“What is it like to kiss a vampire?”  She completed her thought.

I stuttered in surprise.  What kind of effect has  Iron Man and Mamma Mia had on my baby???

“Mom!  It’s a pain in the neck!  Get it?  When you kiss a vampire it’s a pain in the neck!”  Uncontrollable chuckles.

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2 Comments

  1. midwin
    Posted October 7, 2008 at 8:53 am | Permalink

    Ha ha….

    Reminds me of a recent exchange with my 5 year old. There we sat on his bed reliving the last moments of a lazy Saturday where the most pressing event of the day had been his soccer game. As I complimented him on his ability to kick the ball, I thought it would be fun to tell him how hard he used to kick me when he was in my belly. He was surprisingly very amused by the thought of kicking me from the inside. I was still enjoying the trails of his laughter when the conversation took a shift into unchartered waters.

    “Mom, how do babies get out?”

    Although, I had brought this upon myself I was not feeling very prepared to do the topic justice. So I gave the shortest answer possible trying to thread the needle between reinforcing that it was time for bed but that I would be willing to talk about it at a later time.

    “It might be easier to talk about this when you get a little older,” I said.

    “Just like sex?” he asked

    Sex???? I didn’t even know he knew the word let alone an inkling of its meaning!

    “Yep,” I said, “Just like sex.”

    It took me awhile to fall asleep that night.

  2. Mermaid
    Posted October 7, 2008 at 9:25 am | Permalink

    Funny how three little letters combined can strike fear in your heart. It’s not that I don’t want to discuss sex with my kids, it’s just that I want to do it the right way.

    I always feel like I’m coming into the sex topic mid discussion. They have a lot of previous ideas stored up in their little minds and I’m not sure where to begin.

    If I could just shoot a straight lecture that I’ve outlined and prepared and project it onto the wall–no problem. I need some linear organization. I’m not so good at the punt and kick.


3 Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. […] Mermaid wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptWe visited our local Halloween speciality store. These are the stores that spring up like zombies rising from the grave every October. They are always in a different location and always chock full of Halloween items you simply must have b…/b […]

  2. […] Mermaid wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptMy mind immediately raced to how I would answer birds and bees bquestions/b about kissing. I never thought about how to describe kissing to my six year old daughter… “What is it like to kiss a vampire?” She completed her thought. b…/b […]

  3. […] Mermaid wrote an interesting post today onfunny things kids say: vampires, halloween stores and the birds …Here’s a quick excerptwe visited our local halloween speciality store. these are the stores that spring up like zombies rising from the grave every october. they are always in a different location and always chock full of halloween items you simply must have … […]

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